100 Days

Today marks 100 days of not drinking alcohol for me.

What started as partying a little too hard graduation weekend, turned into a challenge for myself. I’ve joked more than once that I am never drinking again, and then continued to tie on a good one every now and then. There’s been a couple different times in my life that I’ve sworn off alcohol for a while; over 9 months after college and made it a few months around covid time. When you tell people you’re not drinking, I’ve got looks like I have two heads.

Why is alcohol so normalized? Why is it that after a rough day, that the cure for it is a beer? Or 12. I’ve seen the damage alcohol can do first hand. I’ve experienced what it does to yourself and the others around you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of drinking days. I’m not judging others for drinking, do as you please. What I want to know is why it’s the most acceptable stress coping mechanism. Maybe that’s because I’ve been raised in a small agriculture town and the stress release for many farmers and ranchers is beer, whiskey, etc. and that’s what I’ve witnessed.

I come from generations that have had troubles with alcohol on both sides of the family. I am heavily predisposed to become an alcoholic. I’ve had my fair share of depending heavily on alcohol for fun and when I’m upset. I’ll be 100% honest, I miss a Pendleton and water at the end of the day or an ice cold beer. Knowing what I come from, I wanted to challenge myself and reframe my relationship with alcohol. I needed these last 100 days for no one else but me. I needed to prove to myself that I could stick to something for that long. I needed to remind myself that I could do tough things. I needed to stay in my own lane and put my health and well being first.

In these 100 days I’ve learned I don’t have to turn to alcohol when I’m stressed. I learned I don’t have to have alcohol to be free and have fun. The first while, the urge to have a beer and cave was there and as the days went on there was less of an urge to reach for a drink. The urge to hold true to myself was stronger. My brain feels more clear. My body feels better. I haven’t had to nurse a three day hangover.

At a concert this weekend, a friend was surprised I was being my full menace self dead sober. I had the best time singing, dancing and laughing with my people that were with me. I enjoyed even more that I got to drive myself back home and not feel like caca the next couple days. Am I going to keep with the not drinking? Unsure, I haven’t decided yet. After doing this now, I look at alcohol entirely different for myself. I am stronger than my vice was.